First and foremost, be honest, but not brutal in your self-assessment.

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Men gravitate towards positive handles—this isn’t the place for self-deprecation—that intimate the person on the other side of the screen is sexy (stuff like “Blondie” and “Cutie”).

Meanwhile, women prefer a screen name that makes its owner sounds smart (“Made Up Of Star Stuff,” perhaps? Interestingly enough, the letters that make up your screen name may be even more important than the words they form.

Several measures of success, like educational achievement and income, are associated with names that start earlier in the alphabet, according to the study.

Intrepid men and women with a drive to explain the unknowable have long answered the great mysteries of the universe, and of the human condition, with science.

Penicillin, the genome, evolution and the Big Bang: these are the breakthroughs that shape our world.

In a meta-analysis of 86 psychology, sociology, computer, and behavioral studies, they found answers to the questions that leave online daters paralyzed at their keyboards or searching for the perfect selfie.

With a list of eerily specific guidelines—covering everything from the perfect screen name to the wording of that first message—science has the looking for love covered.

And tipping the scale ever-so-slightly on the creepy side, similarity breeds affection, so a user named “Hot4YOU” would be more likely to respond to someone with the related handle “Burning4YOU”.

“There is an opportunity to exploit the name-similarity effect by browsing extensively before registration, identifying profiled names of people who you find attractive, and then choosing a similar screen name,” the authors write.