Who can honestly with hand on heart say they haven't furiously banged one out over Bugs Bunny or Scooby Doo in their younger years?Indeed, many subliminal references to animal sex have been subtly placed in popular children's nursery rhymes by evil bastards (in other words, The Chuckle Brothers) intent on taking over the world and turning our kids into a bunch of horny raving zoophiles.It is speculated that this sinister indoctrination from an early age is directly responsible for the rapid increase in popularity of Bestiality we see today.

Bestiality is an extremely popular pastime whereby a man, woman, or indulges in consensual sex with a horny and willing animal, often leading to marriage.

It was invented in 1837 by Sir Thomas Goat Fuck and is legal in most States of America, the one exception being Arkansas where the only sexual activity permitted by law is incest. They have horns on their heads and they use their horns to defend themselves against unwanted relationships. In any case the hit song became a huge success across the globe and in many ways was considered the catalyst that was to trigger a worldwide explosion of human-animal intercourse.

Bestiality was first made famous by The Beastie Boys who dedicated their entire lives to rapping about the joys of inter-species relationships. So never try face to face anything with a horny sheep. And whilst Australians find it hilarious to suggest their Kiwi cousins engage in sex with sheep, the statistics tell a different story, with bestiality rates in Australia almost twice that of New Zealand per 1,000 population.

For most, sexual attraction to animals begins around age 1 and hits its peak around the ages of 8-12, when children's cartoons are on.

When asked to comment on this, Mr Blair simply said 'I make the rules, not you, now fuck off' Indeed in some third-world countries such as Wales, sex with animals and cockhound dogs is not only legal but greatly encouraged so as to prevent certain species from extinction.

However there are growing fears that certain animals are being favoured above others (ie sheep), and this is leading to a radical imbalance in the country's animal population.

The President of Wales Tom Jones recently said in a statement, 'I know sheep are sexy but for fucks sake can you try having it off with something else for a change, the fucking things are taking over' in relation to the Great Sheep Over-Population Crisis of 1912. It is said in the holiest of holys that Danny Gonzalez of Santa Ana, California once fucked a Dodo bird. Throughout the last century, history has been littered with people from all walks of life who like nothing more than to get down and get busy with members of another species.

Attraction to animals usually continues at a steady pace as life goes on, with many men in their twenties owning up to having 'shagged a pig' or 'pulled some old moose' after a heavy night on the town, and some even confessing to 'marrying a complete dog'.

There is a well-known saying "Life's a bitch and then you marry one", in recognition of the many marriages between humans and dogs.