Use lines like “Of course I’m a biological woman, and not a cyber woman… Find ways to forgive them in your heart for being such shitheels. You may want to high-five the women who are still attracted to you, regardless of what you discuss. Practice explaining why “biological woman” is ridiculous. Practice your smile and, “Ok, that’s fine, I had fun,” response to “I can’t sleep with you now,” or “I’m just not attracted to [your genitals],” or “I’m a gold star lesbian, I can’t sleep with you.” You may also hear, “you’re so brave.” 12. Bask in the glow of reciprocal attraction when it does occur – it may be rare.

Spend quite a bit of time agonizing over the photos and your description and hobbies.

Ask a few close friends, “would you theoretically date me based on this profile?

Without them, you will end up posting a photo with kale in your teeth, or where there is clearly a dog using the restroom in the background. Attend events specifically targeted towards lesbians like you.

Let’s assume you know two things: that you are a woman, and that you like other women.

Follow along, and we will get you from this humble beginning, to being a real-live dater. For example, if you expect to dance alone at a bar, you will be thrilled to find that someone beautiful is dancing with you.

Low expectations mean high excitement at small success. This isn’t in reference to any particular difficulty facing trans women, though there are many; it is always helpful to lower your expectations. Ok Cupid, Match, or Tinder; it doesn’t really matter where, but you’ll need one. While you wait for responses, go find the queerest bar nearby. Don’t try to explain why Kathleen Hanna is problematic while dancing. Wonder, “why do so many of these girls have bow-ties on? Get used to a mix of pop hits, Shakira, and Bikini Kill. Hone your ability to turn a conversation into a fun tête-à-tête. Assume that at any moment, they might sour, and you will need to disengage. When someone asks how you are doing, never mention the harassment, mis-gendering, or stress you’re going through. Don’t press anyone, and focus on enjoying yourself. Cool people are definitely not sweating horribly, right now, as they dance around the room, hoping for a match. or a giant snake.” At no point be seen unhinging your jaw to devour a goat.